| My Account of Prabhupad's Passing Granada prenotazione alberghiby Raghunatha Anudasa (originally published at VNN) This morning, I had breakfast with a leadingdevotee. We talked of guru-kulis today and our childhood'spast. We happened upon my days in Vrindavan from '76 to 82.She asked if I had been there at the time of Prabhupada'spassing. I had. I relayed how I had been there at the footof Prabhupad's bed during the entire afternoon until hispassing at 7:20 pm. I was 12 years old at the time. Thereare a great many things I remember from that day but thereare two things that stood out in my mind. After discussingit, we thought the community of devotees would alsoappreciate my account. The first has to do with the massages devoteeswere giving Prabhupad. I clearly remember them because I toohad massaged Prabhupad repeated throughout that afternoon.His lotus feet. I debated this carefully. Should I asksomeone or just reach under the sheets and begin. I did.Many devotees were taking Prabhupad's hands and massagingthem. None asked. But they were all leading devotees.Upendra, Prabhupada's servant, for a time. He brought hisboy to join him. There were others. Manihara - maybe. Afterrubbing Prabhupad's feet on and off over the course ofseveral hours, I stopped. Not because of boredom orphilosophical concerns but something so much more dreadful.Was this painful to Srila Prabhupada? In both my experience of touching Prabhupad andseeing his reaction to others, it seemed as if Prabhupad waspulling away every time someone tried to massage him. Thiswas very significant for besides this, Prabhupad had beenmotionless. It was so obvious, that Narayan Maharaj had evencommented upon it. He said something to the effect thatPrabhupad was "dancing with the gopis." I did not have suchtranscendental vision. My reaction both then and now was,is, that these massages were causing a great deal discomfortto Prabhupada. Prabhupada's dance with the gopis seemed tocoincide - exclusively - with these massages. Many devoteesmay recall the reports that Prabhupad had no fat left on hisbones. It was nothing more then skin lying directly onnerves and muscles. Prabhupad's skin was therefore extremelysensitive. I stopped massaging Prabhupad when I saw Upendrarestraining Prabhupada's hand after Prabhupad had pulledaway from him. Not once. Nor twice. But several times. Itmade such an impression upon me that I decided then: I wouldgive specific directions for my own passing. Do not massageme. I remember -vividly - to this day. Not surprisingly, the most dramatic incident ofthe day was the moment of Prabhupad's passing. This tooappeared to me quite different then other official accounts.Once again, it concerns the "service" the devotees wereoffering to Srila Prabhupad. There was a long spoutedcontainer (but quite small) that held holy water taken fromthe sacred rivers and kunda's from around India. Thiscontainer would poor less then a small teaspoon of water ata time. The devotees would do so when Prabhupada opened hismouth as he did every so often in 20 minute to couple hourintervals. Again, this too was looked upon as quiteeventful. This was the only other interaction the devoteessaw from Prabhupada. The last devotee to share in this, a sannyasi,was administrating the water. (He remains a leading sannyasitoday and so I will not use his name.) But this time,Prabhupada was opening his mouth much more frequently.Instead of opening every 20 minutes or so, Prabhupad wasopening every few, then every couple. This created somethingof a stir from the devotees. Prabhupad was once againaccepting some service. Prabhupad was taking water. Thisdevotee continued with a sense that Prabhupad was thirstyand almost requesting more water. For a moment there, itseemed as if Prabhupad was coming to. But suddenly, anotherdevotee, Manihar, also standing there at the head ofPrabhupada's bed, grabbed the devotee's hand. "Stop!Prabhupada can't breath." This poor sannyasi looked toManihara. Mortified. "What?" He asked. Again Manihara said."Prabhupad can't breath!" Was Prabhupad trying to speak orbreath or chant Hare Krsna? What ever the case, it was myimpression as it was for this sannyasi and Manihara's thatthey were drowning Prabhupad with this water. hotels TallinnIt was this very incident that marked SrilaPrabhupada's passing. This is what caused the commotionamong the devotees sitting in the back of the room to nowrush forward. It was this that brought the devotees from thenext room. This is when the chanting went from gentlesinging, to resounding kirtan, to screaming with all theirheart and all their soul, as loud as they could: "HareKrishna!!" "Hare Krishna!!" Bhardaraj was leading the HareKrishna Kirtan. Hansadutta suddenly jumped in to lead JaiPrabhupada! The devotees split in responding to both untilthere was no leader. All sang in unison. Hare Krsna! JaiPrabhupad! Most cried. Uncontrollably. This is the settingin which Prabhupad passed from this world. Antwerp accommodationI was there at the foot of Prabhupad's bedduring all of this just as I appear in Yadubar's filming ofthis day. I could see everything clearly. I have heard thatPrabhupad was 'dancing' prior to his passing. Others - whowere not there, reported that Prabhupad was chanting HareKrsna at the time of his passing. Devotees can draw theirown conclusion. I am simply stating my first hand experienceand observations. Again, I was just a boy of 12. One who wasinitiated. 16 rounds a day. And twice up for brahmininitiation. (Canceled with all other initiations afterPrabhupad's health turned for the worse.) In other words, Iwas a mature 12 year old much as India often does to most. Iwas at my best with Prabhupada. More so than most of mypeers as all my teachers from those days will attest. I hadthe same adoration as any 12 year old Catholic boy would iftold he were in the company of Christ himself. I wasdiligent and attentive. I loved Prabhupad, as I do today.This is my account of this unique event. It serves as onemore voice of the many who were fortunate enough to havebeen there. Email Rabhunatha |