| [Published in "Jahnavi Replies," the 1/14/99 edition of PADA online newsletter.] X-Sender: afn56839@pop3.afn.org X-Mailer: QUALCOMM Windows Eudora Pro Version 3.0.3 (32) Date: Thu, 14 Jan 1999 13:53:55 -0500 To: pada@netroplex.com From: Jahnavi afn56839@afn.org Dear Pada and Other devotees, Publications, and of course Raghu, I have read Raghunatha's report and response to ISKCON Journals publicationon child abuse in ISKCON. Raghunatha is my good friend and big brother.However, when he says "Here is the response from the 2nd generation", hespeaks for himself and those he speaks with. I do not feel the same on manyof his points of which some are Inquirer style reporting and somefactualities off. However, I would agree on these points. Raghus'snewsletter did begin the reconnection of brotherhood amongst our youth. discount hotels in MechelenHis newsletter was from the heart and published the candid feelings of allour youth. After the break up of most live-in-gurukulas in the beginning tomid 80's, most were in shock, and in our mid teens now in karmi schools wewere searching for an identity as we were ripped from one life and placedin another. His newsletter reminded us of our bond. I also believe as doeshe, that the youth were misjudged and ostracized on many levels not just bythe leaders but by many sincere, yet ignorant devotees throughout theworld. Although newsletters were the catalyst, it was the beginning of thechain of events which have lead us to where we are in child protection andother reform groups existing today. Progress has continued to evolve slowly and with hesitation and fear of theunknown, but there are so many sincere devotees who continue to persist anddefy the silence which is usually easier than knowing the horrific truths.I also agree when Raghu says that our priorities should be on the youth inour society. Our children are, and forever will be, the future of theworld. If we want a functioning, stable and peaceful society we best getour priorities straight and this goes for both ISKCON and society at large.Having said that, I would like to address these points in difference toRaghus opinion. Of course my opinion is just that, mine. On a personal note, please know that as gurukula experiences go I was oneof the severely abused kids of which people refer to. I know the pain ofemotional, and physical torture along with being left in a coma for threeweeks. I know the daily pain, dysfunction and torment of having been abusedand all the baggage that brings. I go to counseling every week after whichI go to the chiropractor and massage therapist to get rid of the stress andbodily health repercussions which I attribute to my abuse. I am divorcedfrom the father of my child as he also was severely sexually abused ingurukula by a sanyassi. The aftermath of dysfunctions created by having our security, peace ofmind, love and innocence ripped form us created a situation that was not afunctioning marriage. We had a son who now suffers the domino affect of ourabuse. That is my pain and I know it inside and out and I want to try to doeverything in my power to rectify it for others and make sure my son willnever feel that, yes, I want to use that as a powerful tool to affectchange. I have no agenda other than helping all those who suffered andmaking sure none of our children suffer as we did. This is my heart andsoul. I eat, sleep, and breath this mission. I have a five year old son and his love and my pain drives me. On anotherlevel, my major in college was psychology. Personally, I have a less harshview of basic human nature than some. Besides the horrific out right abusesperpetrated on our youth, when I see societies general dysfunction I do notalways attribute those actions to premeditated, calculated, enjoyed damageto others. Guilty of carelessness and not doing one's duty, yes. The painand damage may be the affects of dysfunction, but not in all cases the forethought. I also do not believe that all those who are seeking change are spurred byonly their agenda. Example: Raghu suggests that the Ritviks have apolitical agenda while using the abuse issue as a weapon in that. Fairenough, but is that the whole story? While human nature is such that we allhave a personal agenda on some level, otherwise we would all be doingselfless service, everyone is spurred by some internal belief that issincerely believed. I tend to believe that many genuinely do care. Ibelieve this of all our devotees, Ritviks, GBC, management etc. I think the real problem is ignorance and the desire to stay that way. Letthe devotees with the passion for such subjects enlighten the rest. Ofcourse many have there own styles, but that is diversity for you. While wemay not all like how one side or the other expresses their opinion, thisseems to keep things moving. The first key to change is knowledge.Ignorance is stubborn but that does not always mean that one does not care.We just have to attack that ignorance from another angle. That is mytheory. From there, sincere devotees will do the right thing and of coursethe key is to use our common sense. Srila Prabhupada was big on that. Ithink devotees are coming to that conclusion more and more. We came to themovement with complicated personal agendas and we made the implementationof the philosophy that way. Let's get back to basics. Anyway, I can go on talking forever, as I have an opinion on mosteverything, as does everyone else it seems, so I'll stick to what I know. Therefore let me go back to child protection and to the 1996 GBC meetingsand to Children of Krishna. I was there, I was in pain and angry and I wasone of the 10 youth who sat on the panel and relayed my experiences. Raghuwas not there and I do not agree with his presentation of the facts. I cannot say that the GBC was not told that they only had so many chances butthat was not the presiding mood. The stories told were sober, and full ofpain and in outreach for caring. Though we were shocked, that is what wegot. Out of 150 men, not one eye was dry. Every man in the room was guiltyby way of not making it their business to make sure this had not happened,but at that moment of knowledge there was real sorrow. Anuttama never stood up. Sridhara swami and Bhakti tirtha swami stood andsaid, "I can only do one thing that I learned from Srila Prabhupada rightnow." He paid full obeisances. then Sridhara maharaja said "Let's begin toput our money where our mouth is." He began a pledge drive. These weredonations from all devotees present from their own pockets. There may beaccompaning Institutional concerns with this isssue but there always hasbeen. Realizing the truth, the sincere devotees hearts were sofftened andthat is where change can begin. That was the beginning of Children of Krishna (CKI). CKI however, is not anISKCON organization. It answers only to its donors and constituents, theyouth. It is an independent organization. We do not give reports to anyonebut the above and we have never received a dime from the GBC as anorganized entity, only from individuals who care, from devotees all aroundthe world. Currently being our Managing Director, our original director nolonger managing, we have cut our expenses 80%, (See financial overviewbelow.) I speak with hundreds of youth a month who appreciate and depend onChildren of Krishna, it's support, and grants. Being a youth myself themood of our CKI office reflects that. We have seven devotees on our Boardof Directors and four are youth. We keep the majority for a reason and itworks. As far as who is responsible, I see it as everyone's responsibility tohelp. From Raghu's newsletters,to Children of Krishna's work, there hasbeen brought about such awareness that the Office of Child Protection wasalso formed. This office is helping verify and rectify past abuses, helpthe victims, and establish prevention policies for the future. Of coursethis can never go fast enough, but I resent anyone saying that the devoteesbehind it have any other agenda than that. Institutional reasons may alsobe there, but the devotees in the office are sincere and work day andsometimes nights in this quagmire that was ISKCON's second generationexperiences. Beyond our offices, I feel all adults are responsible on some level for thetragedies of the past. Despite victimization on many levels in the past,our children are the real victims. They were not in a position to protectthemselves. [PADA: Well, this is true, however I want it to be known that some of uswho did point out that the whole society was worshipping homosexualpedophiles, and/or their nest builders, were banned, beaten and threatenedwith death. We are still banned etc. for saying that: 1) gurus are not homosexualpedophiles, nor are 2) their founders and reinstators, nor are 3) theworse, compromiser guys like Ravindra swarupa and Vipramukhya who werevoted in at the re-coronation of a known homosexual pedophile guru. Anyway, meanwhile, while we protested, practically the whole GBC waschanting Kirtanananda's glories while he was covered with the hands of 50boys. They simply lost their heads over their bogus pooja program. The FBIsaid I was next on the (Satsvarupa Dasa Goswami (who was writing that wewere poison pen), Ramesvara, K swami?) GBC hit list. I could have donemore, perhaps, but then I could be dead now too. Of course, this may be myexcuse and I apologize for not doing more if I could have. Jahnavi isright, the adults are all to blame, the children could not defend themselves. I recall telling a group of "big senior men" devotees about the molestationproblem and they said, let the children hire lawyers and sue the GBC. Insum, we don't give a fart about their problem, let them fight it outthemselves with their own lawyers. Children should go out --and hirelawyers? Yikes!] JD: If everyone did something to help there would be a grand support systemfor our youth. This is needed to help our youth help themselves. I alsobeleive that even our youth have a responsibility to help themselves. Weare now adults, the same age as our parents when most abuses anddysfunctions were perpetrated and we should now break the chain. I believein personal responsibility on all parts. The world would be a much betterplace if we all concentrated on ourselves as much as on others. Maybe I amidealistic but I am trying. Believe me, my ex husband and I were bitter when we divorced, but we shareour son with love so that he may not suffer as well, and have actually cometo be good friends. We know we are good people but were just in pain andnot the same. However we muster our resources and are breaking the chain sothat at least one little boy has a happy family and will grow up with oneless handicap. This has been hard but done with selflessness.Everyone has problems but if we begin to see at least some sincerity we canreally capitalize on that and change the world. I am forever frustrated seeing devotees discourage each other. Of course Iam not naive enough not to know that there is always the fight between goodand evil in Kali yuga, but we should not get stuck thinking that is allthere is. I did not feel that was Prabhupada's mood. Ultimately we will befighting the fight so hard, we will forget about our own spiritual progressand there goes our life. What good then was our fight. Everyone was so busy fighting that we alltook birth again to the same mess. Fight a good fight but do not get socaught in it that you forget about compassion, sincerity, and trust. So whowants to join the "Take personal responsibility club"? There are so manyvenues now a days. Pick one and really make a sacrifice towards it. Having said all that, below is CKI's financial for last year. I will sendout more info and all the grants given so you can see who we have helped,but for now here it is. Also below, please read the obituary of Nimai dasa,who committed suicide last month. Let's all think about the pain this boywent through and how we can take responsibility to help as well as makePrabhupadas movement a place where our youth can take shelter. Miscellaneous note on Anuttama: Despite one's complaints, he has given over$40,000 of his personal money from his families business in the last threeyears to CKI, the Office of Child Protection and other youth projects. Howmuch have we given? Also, despite some devotees feelings on Svavas, andaddressing Raghu's point, CKI did profile him and the North American BBT inour last newsletter as having contributed both their energies, resourcesand support of our youth in various forms. Yours truly, Jahnavi dasi 1998. Children of Krishna Financial Statement Grants 24,289.34 Outreach (costs incurred reaching out to donors and applicants such asphone, postage, newsletter, etc.) 4,572.58 Support (costs incurred in supporting our CKI office, such as secretarial,utilities etc.) 9,391,97 Total: $38,253.89 Total income in: 39,242 Our operating bills are quite low and fixed, so the more laxsmi that isreceived the more that goes to our youth. This is our life, fundraising andgrant giving. A Mother's Letter Nimai Bhakti Pralad Dasa aka: Das - A Child of Krishna - Died 12-13-98Nimai, better known as Das amongst his friends, hung himself from theBroadway Bridge in Portland, Oregon in the pre-dawn hours of Dec. 11, 1998.His soul left his body during the hour of Nrsimha on Dec. 13, 1998. He was26 years old. Das was a shy trusting and loving young boy who became a victim of the mostdegrading and hideous act of our society, child abuse. He suffered underthe those who, poised as devotees and his teachers, took away his trust,security, peace of mind and innocence. Let us understand the pain thatthese children have endured and open our hearts with love and support sothat they can overcome the adversities and pain in their lives and learn totrust Srila Prabhupada, His devotees, and the true meaning of the Krsnaconscious philosophy. In humble respects and sorrow, Children of Krishna has aided the family inthe costs for his cremation. $1,627. Let us all do what we can to assistour youth. Das's mother is Karunamayee and has written this heart felt letter. It willtouch one's heart and give you a painful look at the devastating effects ofchild abuse. Dearest Children of Krishna and of my Guru Maharaja, I cannot tell you how comforted I feel by the care you are giving oneanother in the aftermath of our debacle. Prabhupada told us a zillion timesover, "just use your common sense," but he couldn't quite grasp that wemore or less had none... we were the several thousand stooges when it cameto common sense... and even when He'd lay it out in simplest language we'dlet it in one ear and out the other. Not always and not all of us always,but way too may of us and way too often. Yet from the junk heap of our more innocent cluelessness and the out andout crimes some of us perpetrated upon you, you have scraped away the crudand revealed the precious jewel of your own love for one another. We canfall at your feet through all eternity and it will go for naught but thatsomehow you redeem us with your grace. How may I tell you what it truly means to me to see you cover your brothersback and take care for him that he should go with dignity and ease for allhis family from this sad old Marga Loka wherein my own brothers, entrustedwith his care, turned upon him with cruel fangs and claws - tearing awayhis very childhood, turning it to a nightmare too horrible to be borne. Letone honest tear for him fall from the eyes of my brothers who did this tohim and I shall forgive: my own gnawing guilt makes it impossible to dootherwise. [PADA: Wow! I hope Krishna will help and bless this poor mother.] |